Chemotherapy and Mood (ANGER)

I did a search for scholarly articles relating to chemotherapy and anger. My search returned pages of results, however, after digging deeper it appears there is a researcher out there with the last name Anger so my search was totally bogus. Now I'm pissed. Again.

You know what else pissed me off today? The bank teller at Wells Fargo (again).

Teller: What are your plans for the day? 
Me: Nunna
Teller: *tilts head like a dog*
Me: Nunna Business

Teller: Have you been in this branch before?
Me: *Nods head*
Teller: I don't think I've had the pleasure of meeting you before.
Me: *blank stare*

Teller: Is this your home branch?
Me: Yes, I don't know.

Teller: blah blah blah blah
Me: *Turns and stares out window into parking lot*

Seriously she went on and on with the questions. What? Do they train them to ask these questions? READ MY BODY LANGUAGE! I don't feel like chatting. I'm a bald woman in a bad mood just count out the cash and no one will get hurt. Then on the way to my errand I has two road rage incidents. Well rage is a pretty intense word but I did feel my blood get hot and I used the bird in one instance. Totally justified I assure you. 

So I'm pretty sure I have anger issues. Which feels good and bad all at the same time. Good because I don't have anger in my normal state and it feels like a release to let it flow but bad because I am experiencing these flare ups and I prefer being in a relaxed-go-with-the-flow mood. 

The complaint list:
I am tired. My hormones are unstable. Sleep disturbances are routine. When I see my reflection it reminds me of Darth Vader without his helmet on. When I try to read all I do is reread the same paragraph. I feel isolated. I'm anxious about returning to work. I'm road kill by late afternoon. The list goes on...

On the upside... ya right, you really think I'm going to go all Polly-Anna right now? I'm on the downside and I am embracing it. 

What was my errand you ask? A visit to the medical marijuana dispensary. I bellied up to the bar and asked for their best mood elevator. I told them that I was at the end of my treatment and needed something to relieve nausea and anger. They were understanding and acknowledged that treatment wears you down and it is normal to feel the way I do.

I came home with a little bag full of things to try and a slightly better mood for having someone tell me it's okay to feel the way I do.